Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
