tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
