I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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