Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
His hands were made for my vagina.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
