Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
