I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
