I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
