The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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