i barfeds in our rink
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
