i may or may not be watching the land before time
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
