sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
