hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
