I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
