Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
