Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
