She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
