So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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