I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
