Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Sorry about my life...
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
