my mouth tastes like poor choices
he shaved USA in his pubs
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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