I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Banned from zoo.
Again?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
