yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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