Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
