I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
this boner is exhausting
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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