i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
