This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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