apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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