i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
