I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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