You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
