I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
