Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
