I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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