the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
