yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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