So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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