all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
