no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
