Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
