There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
