He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
