I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
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