Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
