I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
