his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i just google imaged poop.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
