Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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