Please, let me fuck your mom
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
