You're so nebulous sometimes
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Randomize
