I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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