I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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