I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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