Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
