At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
