Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
