i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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