Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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