Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
